I don't dream of work
But I also don't dream of suffering.
Lately (as in the last 5 years) I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with the rest of my life. As I mentioned in this post, there are a lot of expectations about what life is meant to be like in your 20's, but personally I never connected with any of those notions. Instead, I've spent a lot of my early and late 20's being perpetually confused and overwhelmed. The question that always sent me into a tizzy: what do you want to do for work?
I have a Bachelor of Science in Technology so the obvious answer always seemed to be "something in tech". But after a 5 year long preview of what a life in tech would look like, I quickly decided that wasn't going to be the road I traveled. Fast forward to present day, I'm doing a tech field adjacent job and still not very sure if it's what I'm meant to be doing. One thing I do know, however, is that I never want to feel like I don't have the ability to take care of myself and my family. And much to my dismay, a traditional 9-5 job is currently what ensures I don't have that worry.
The promise of security offered by a corporate job is a precarious one,especially in today's environment, but it is a promise that wasn't offered to my grandmother who often worked 7 days a week in a car parts factory for a barely livable wage. It's a promise that was not made to my mother who worked long hard hours for a company that found a way to mistreat her every single day.
By working this corporate job that doesn't always feel like the right fit, I have broken a generational curse. 3 days out of the week I get to work from home and my commute is 30 minutes round-trip. I have a designated space to work and coworkers that don't make me want to eat glass (most of the time).
It's safe.
I'm learning that having safety is a valiant goal to strive for. So as I continue to navigate my way towards a reality where I can confidently say what I want to do with the rest of my life, I will cherish this reality in which I can confidently say I am safe.
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